| So from our unique perspective, here's what Southern women know about living in Dixie, the best part of these great United States: |
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*Southern girls know their memorable couples ... Zelda and Scott Scarlett and Rhett |
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*Southern girls know the three types of school ... Ballroom Ballet Charm |
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*Southern girls don't drink, they sip ... a lot. *Southern girls appreciate their natural assets ... Dewy skin A winning smile That unforgettable Southern drawl *Southern girls know their manners ... "Yes, ma'am" "Yes, sir" "Why, no, Billy!" |
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*Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions ... "Y'all come back!" "Well, bless your heart." "Drop by when you can." "How's your mother?" "Love your hair." |
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*Southern girls don't sweat .... they glisten. *Southern girls know their summer weather report ... Humidity Humidity Humidity *Southern girls have more fun than should be allowed. *Southern girls know how to loosen a tongue with a Southern touch... Wild Turkey Jack Daniels Jim Beam *Southern girls know their three R's ... Rich Richer Richest *Southern girls know their vacation spots ... The Beach The Rivuh The Crick |
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*Southern girls know the joys of June, July, and August ... Sweet iced-tea with mint Colorful hi-heel sandals Wide brimmed straw hats and big sunglasses Shade trees.......no true Southern Belle would evah' spoil her lovely "Magnolia skin" by exposing herself to the sun! |
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*Southern girls know everybody's first name ... Honey Darlin' Shugah *Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts ... Gone With the Wind Fried Green Tomatoes Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood Steel Magnolias *Southern girls love to sin and tell about it! *Southern girls know their GRITS ... Cheese Stoneground Garlic Instant |
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*Southern girls know their religions ... Baptist Methodist Football |
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*Southern girls know the four seasons ... Recruiting Spring Training Practice Football |
| *Southern girls know their primary colors ... |
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*Southern girls know the real names for all-out-War ... SEC Football ACC Basketball NASCAR The Masters |
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*Southern girls know their country breakfasts ... Red-eye gravy Grits Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with Momma's homemade jelly.
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*Southern girls know their cities drippin' with Southern charm...
Addlanna Birmin'ham Chawl'stn N'awlins S'vanah Foat Wuth and by all means.........MEHMFUS! |
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*Southern girls know their elegant gentlemen ... Men in uniform Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler, of course |
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*Y'all know Southern girls are quick on the drawl.
*Southern girls know their prime real estate ... The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon
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*Southern girls know the three deadly sins ... Having bad hair and nails Bad manners Cooking bad food *Southern girls know the real meaning of PMS ... Precious Moody Southerner |
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*Southern girls know bad manners when they see them ... Drinking straight out of a beer can Not sending thank you notes Walking down the street (or anywhere!) with a lighted cigarette Velvet after February White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day |
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Sent to me by "Baby Kay" ~~ "A Real Sou'thun Girl",
with some editing by My Hunka Hunka Burnin' Luv (You know who your are, Darlin'). |
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Only a Southerner knows the difference between a "hissie fit" and a "conniption fit", and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is; ...as in, "Goin' to town, be back d'rectly." Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granulated sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl, in the middle of the table. All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is... They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody! Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! Only true Southerners say "sweet tea," "sweet milk," and "light bread". Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar, and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. And "Light bread" is white bread. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" ... and go your own way. To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernese as a second language! And for those that are not from the South, but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on your front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could." Now...... Shugah, send this page to someone who was raised in the South, or wish they had been! |
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